The Greatest Chili in the World

Welcome to my kitchen! I actually believe I really do make the best chili I've ever tasted and I thought it was about time I share with you guys.

This is cooked in a crockpot and I'm not ashamed of that. Also, I use canned beans and tomatoes and frozen corn. Yes, corn. I know some of my readers are more into freshness than I am so substitute time and hard work as you please. I'm a single guy and this is how I do it.

I have to give a shoutout to Bin (interesting spelling) at Panera for the free coffee. I went in to buy a cup for this endeavor and he said, "This one's on the house." SCORE.

Matt&Kim's Sidewalks is the musical selection while we make magic.

I use about a pound of ground meat. I say meat because usually this is venison but I'm out. Today is beef from our farm or my great uncles farm, who knows. Start browning this first. My herbivore readers, I bet it is just as delicious without the meat, but I eat meat.

Once you have that going, wash your veggies. Red bell pepper, green bell pepper, 2 jalapenos, the biggest onion you can find, and a whole garlic bulb. You don't have to wash the onion or the garlic, at least I don't. Start cutting! (don't forget the browning meat, it's probably done and you don't want to over cook it)

The meat is now draining with a little help of cast iron.

I don't bother cutting stuff up too small. I like seeing what I'm taking a bite of. It also gives a varying texture in the finished product.

Same goes for the jalapenos, I don't think it is nice to surprise a person's tongue that doesn't like spice. This stuff will get spicy enough without sneak attacks.

All this stuff is going straight into the crockpot. On a side note let's make a deal; I'll be happy to cut onions for you but don't expect it to be pretty. Lets just say some pieces are bigger than others.

Now, peel and crush and mince that whole garlic bulb. Not just a clove, the whole dang thing. I find it easier to peel the cloves if i kind of crush them a bit first.

I don't have a bunch of little dishes like the cooking shows so you'll have to be satisfied with a shot or two of me measuring the spices, but I won't leave out any secrets.

Here is all the delicious spices.

4 teaspoons chili powder, 1 teaspoon dried basil, 2 teaspoons cumin, 1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper, 2 teaspoons oregano, 2 teaspoons cilantro. Now I'm not what you would call exact in these measurements. In actuality there is probably more in there than what I listed.

At this point I usually start the crockpot crocking.

Bean time!

30 ounces of chili beans, 15 ounces black beans, and 15 ounces dark red kidney beans. I drain these and kind of rinse them. You don't want to rinse out too much of the deliciousness of the chili beans. I use the different types of beans to make it look more interesting. I found most chilies to look boring. Varying the bean types and the different color peppers helps this.

Musical sidebar: I listened to Sidewalks twice, it's a really good album. Also, listened to some Peggy Sue thanks to @naurnie. I find myself liking it the more I listen.

Now, dump all those tomatoes in there!

30 ounces diced tomatoes, 24ish ounces tomato sauce. That picture really doesn't make it look very good, does it?

Ok, stuff is about to get real. It is time for Da Bomb. Seriously for realzz this stuff is da bomb Da Bomb. It is crazy hot but full of so much *flavor* it is insane! Dip a toothpick in this stuff and touch, just touch the tip of the toothpick don't lick it, to your tongue and it will light you up! A quarter to a half teaspoon of this stuff for 5 quarts of chili. This is powerful stuff that you don't joke around with. Today, I'm splitting the difference because I'll probably be the only one eating this but might take some to the cabin this weekend for deer season. Not sure if everyone there will be down for a runny nose and a steaming tongue. For me, this amount of spice is just enough to make me breathe heavy but at the same time doesn't slow me down eating.

Don't forget to put the meat in there.

And you can't forget the 3ish cups of corn! I use frozen corn for this. Most of the time I wait to put it in. Let it crock for a few hours and then put in the corn just long enough for it to heat up. Given my current time constraints for this batch it is going in now. This is another item added for interest. It brightens the bowl and also adds some pop as you chew.

Last item and it is crazy to most people. Brown sugar, just like a young girl should. (thanks, Mick and Keith) I usually let the amount mirror the amount of Da Bomb but in terms of cups not teaspoons.

Now, get in there and stir it up!

Yep, it is supposed to seem that dry. Don't add any extra liquid. Your juices will start to come out of the veggies as it crocks. It will be thick when it is finished, but who wants to drink chili? You should be able to EAT it.

It will take a minimum of 4 hours on high to crock. Normally, I start it right as I leave for work and let it crock on low all day, 9 hours or so. It's done once the veggies are cooked. I like it better when I make it over the weekend so I can turn it off while the veggies are still a bit firm. However, it is so hard to smell it all day and not get into it.

Enjoy!

To recap:

12 ounces ground beef/venison

1 big honkin' onion

1 green pepper

1 red pepper

2 jalapenos

1 whole bulb of garlic

30 ounces chili beans

15 ounces black beans

15 ounces dark red kidney beans

30 ounces diced tomatoes

24 ounces tomato sauce

4 teaspoons chili powder

1 teaspoon dried basil

2 teaspoons cumin

1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

2 teaspoons oregano

2 teaspoons cilantro

1/4 - 1/2 teaspoons Da Bomb Beyond Insanity

3 cups corn

1/4 - 1/2 cup brown sugar

5 quart crockpot or you are probably looking at an overflow. Don't say I didn't warn you.